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Lab Assistant
#26 Old 19th Sep 2017 at 9:51 PM
Incest of any kind makes me queazy, so I've preemptively downloaded that extended family mod into my game to make sims register great grandparents and second cousins and all that. I'm only about a generation into my Megahood, so there really isn't much likelihood for inbreeding yet, but I certainly don't want it if it comes down to that. Obviously if the dating pool becomes too shallow later on, I have Tarlia's Desiderata Valley and Belladonna Cove on standby to tack on as necessary, and when those are all filled up, then Veronaville and Strangetown get added in too! Then the colleges!

My point is that if it's avoidable, I absolutely will. I don't particularly want any sims who share a surname to marry, but if it's a townie who happens to have the same last name, then it's just coincidence and I'll let it be. I've had more than one friend with the surname Nguyen date another Nguyen, and neither were related by blood or relation.

Now if it's a non-incest but ethically questionable relationship, say a stepfather and his adult stepdaughter, I would personally be grossed out, but I would not intervene if it was autonomous on the sims' part. I would never allow it for adopted families. I also really don't like adult-teen or elder-teen relationships, which are a potential thing with inteen and ACR installed, so I always make sure to disable those interactions. I had a lot of unwanted attention from gross adult men when I was growing up and I would never subject anyone, not even my sims, to the same.
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Mad Poster
#27 Old 19th Sep 2017 at 9:54 PM
@bbostic - there's a number of townies in my game that have the same surname and I like to think of some of them as family. When they don't look alike they're cousins or related by marriage. The two Ivy Copurs were both named after a common ancestor.

I'm secretly a Bulbasaur. | Formerly known as ihatemandatoryregister

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Alchemist
#28 Old 20th Sep 2017 at 12:59 AM Last edited by mdsb759 : 20th Sep 2017 at 1:12 AM.
about townies with same surname; there are also shipped version NPCs that have same surname. also shipped version townie/NPC "combinations"; townie & NPC having same surname.
all 3 base game neighborhoods with each of those.
similar with first names also; and some both first name & surname.

edit:: can be similar with "generated" names; mainly sub-neighborhoods.
Test Subject
#29 Old 20th Sep 2017 at 1:53 PM
I had a step-mother with double bolt attraction to her teenage stepson (in game he was precisely 17 - I have a long age span and age my teens accordingly). It squicked. I hated that they had the bolts for each other, but luckily they also hated each other and were well on their way to being enemies. It made for one hell of a story as in my head-cannon, she hated him because he a) took his father's attention from her and b) she had discovered a secret attraction to him that worried her so much she despised him for it and blamed him entirely. I treated him like a typical teenage boy (i.e., he figured she'd be hot since his dad was a player anyway, but he didn't much like her when she moved in.) Either way, I was really relieved when he went off to uni (and promptly triple bolted for a girl from his home town that he'd never met before.)

Cousins is a little too close for me irl, but isn't necessarily a problem in-game, though I will say I've never had it happen. Step Parents and kids is a DEFINITE no. No matter what the situation is. If I can't remove the squicky attraction bolts I do a story like the one above and move someone out as soon as possible. Same with any other same-family-plus-adult-in-position-of-power relationship. It's just too weird - and I'm a stepdaughter and stepsister myself offline, so I just can't allow that kind of grossness in my game. It hits waaaaaaay to close to my personal freak-out point.
Scholar
#30 Old 20th Sep 2017 at 3:11 PM
unintended incest is a classic soap opera element e.g. sim romancing with his stepsister/brother about which they do not know, and then things blow up and "go drama!"; it ofc sometimes happens in real life too (one of my friends was years ago an unfortunate victim of his father's past endeavours, and yeah - that was a really tough times for the both families when things came out of the shadow). As a scenario (despise it's cliche nature) it may be seen attractive (drama!), in reality it may be, and usually is a devastating experience with no happy ending.

And there's obviously a problem with small communities - any "straged on the sea" or "little hamlet in the wilderness", any "apocalipse survivors" scenario includes that particular problem 'till you by magic parashoote some potential mates. It's an arithmetics, not wickedness. And in the real life it was (and still somewhere is) a serious problem for isolated, small communities not attracting many strangers to settle.


favorite quote: "When ElaineNualla is posting..I always read..Nutella. I am sorry" by Rosebine
self-claimed "lower-spec simmer"
Scholar
#31 Old 20th Sep 2017 at 3:50 PM
Quote: Originally posted by LEONGenesis
Cousins is a little too close for me irl, but isn't necessarily a problem in-game, though I will say I've never had it happen. Step Parents and kids is a DEFINITE no. No matter what the situation is. If I can't remove the squicky attraction bolts I do a story like the one above and move someone out as soon as possible. Same with any other same-family-plus-adult-in-position-of-power relationship. It's just too weird - and I'm a stepdaughter and stepsister myself offline, so I just can't allow that kind of grossness in my game. It hits waaaaaaay to close to my personal freak-out point.


I agree, first cousins is too close. A few months ago I did some genealogy with my RL family and discovered that my mom's grandparents were first cousins... I haven't told her yet...

Paladins/SimWardrobes downloads: https://simfileshare.net/folder/87849/
Instructor
#32 Old 20th Sep 2017 at 4:53 PM
If I considered everyone with my last name family, I'd have a large family. (My last name is Baker). I consider family farther than second cousin fair game unless I grew up with them as a family member, I think.

I might one day finish my Zanes Hollow project, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Until then, you can see what I'm up to on my Simblr!
Alchemist
#33 Old 20th Sep 2017 at 5:41 PM
If the Sims should know they're relatives, I don't let them get involved even if the game mechanics allow it. I use the Sim Blender tag them as relatives. I also mark some Sims as related when they grow up as family, but aren't blood related, like step cousins.
Scholar
#34 Old 20th Sep 2017 at 5:57 PM Last edited by Florentzina : 20th Sep 2017 at 7:33 PM.
Well, it depends in my case.

I play with realistic aging where one day respond to one human year and play with semi-relastic late medivial theme for my biggest hood, but the age has always triumph the blood relationships, as it was more common to marry your cousin/2nd nephews/nieces in wealthy families to keep the family line "stronger". On the other hand, even if people did marry off their daughters to somebody double as old as them, its still ick me when a 15 year old sim wooing for an elder (53+).

I play with rather huge populated hood currently 319 Males and 211 Females who are single where 25% are widow(er)s, so a 15 year old girl should find a better future love interest than their cousins, in-laws or step relatives who are not extremly older than herself! But due to the hood is historical, I do allow it in GAME when it happens. In real life, I've a rather large family (6 uncles and 2 aunts, and 15+ first cousins) where everyone, even third cousins are growing up closely together where people even icks at people who have romantics relationships with their siblings FRIENDS (= dating your brother's/sister's best friends). But I've never been a simmer who let personal preferences and real life custom affect the way I play the game. Beside, I certaintly don't live in the 16th centuary England (that my hood is set at), you know.

Beside aging, I do find VERY close relations with in-laws and step relative a bit hate/love with the game, and currently have two elder sims (or well, middle aged i guess as they are 53 years old in human age) woo-ing each other who are In-law and have common grandchildren (attached picture). But of 318/210 candidates, although half of them would be wrong age, they should find a few more suitable love interests, so I keep debating whether I should allow them to get engaged or just keep them as lovers. (they are two of my founders so I am not keen of breaking their family trees for this).

But I've no problem with first or second cousins marrying each other (former arranged with hacked wedding arch) as long their age is not extremely different (generally, I try to avoid having a males marrying somebody who are more 15 years younger than themself, while females only a few years older, as I am traditional with aging, despite my father is 6 years younger than my mother, HAH. But a few "Oddball" couples doesn't hurt!). It suit the theme of the hood anyways.

I don't play with townies, so the last name dilemma is not big deal for me as I can always track who is too close/distant through their family trees.
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Field Researcher
#35 Old 20th Sep 2017 at 10:12 PM
I don't think I've played beyond third generation yet, but personally, I would avoid any cousin marriages in the game even if it is allowed. I like diversity! As for townies with same last names, I leave them be, usually. There are so many common last names out there, not everyone is "blood related". Maybe if I like their looks enough I make them a blood related family, or family through adoption, but otherwise Idc.

I have had a couple situations pop up with some of my playables where an in-law parent and in-law son/daughter (not related) have bolts for each other. Thankfully it's only been in families I don't really care about any way (here's looking at you, Brokes, Grunts, and Joques. [Except Beau and Buck] :P), so I let the drama happen.
Instructor
#36 Old 20th Sep 2017 at 11:22 PM
I was going to say no, but then I remembered Tybalt Capp marrying his cousin Miranda Capp in my Uberhood. Tybalt, who's the head of the Capp Manor decided to take the family back to the early Victorian times, and strictly keep the family assets in the family.

Also in my Uberhood, Jill Smith had relations with her elderly Uncle Pascal. Now, she wants to get engaged to him. If he wants to marry her, I'm allowing it.

I only allow a few cases of incest in my this hood for giggles. Sometimes it's fun to play outside my standard box.



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Top Secret Researcher
#37 Old 30th Oct 2017 at 6:50 AM
I generally allow anyone that the game allows and I am using BO - Step-Family Romance (alt), so the rules are loose.

I do try to have my Aliens in general to have babies with non Aliens, but it is not a real restriction as I have matches between Aliens every so often.

for info on changing the Mac Open File Limit check out my post here http://www.insimenator.org/index.ph...html#msg1628939
Curiosity killed the cat,
but satisfaction brought it back.
Mad Poster
#38 Old 30th Oct 2017 at 9:31 AM
I've said this in at least one other thread: if it was good enough for Queen Victoria, the it's good enough for my sims! First cousins is legal in my country as well, so...eh. What do I care about second cousins or 12th cousins twice removed? Go right ahead and marry someone with whom you share two sets of great-great-grandparents. If I actually manage to play a hood through that many generations, I'm sure it will eventually be kind of inevitable.

But of course there are cases of step-siblings, etc, where the code doesn't recognize family and really should! So I had a question...if I were to use the blender to set some extra family ties...would it do anything to existing ones? Can a child have three "mothers" and 3 "fathers" all at the same time? Are there any limits on this?

I ask because I have a couple of families where I think I'm going to need some sort of help ensuring that step-children don't accidentally start throwing bolts for people who are clearly inappropriate (little Haylee Sinclair, for example, shouldn't head off to university and suddenly notice how hot her mom's girlfriend is, when that woman helped raise her from infancy!). And if two plantsims each grow a plantbaby and also have one child together through pregnancy, those two plantbabies shouldn't suddenly find each other hot once they come of age! Maybe they don't have any blood relations, but still...squicky.
Inventor
#39 Old 30th Oct 2017 at 10:07 AM Last edited by Sketching : 30th Oct 2017 at 10:46 AM.
I flag step-parents as parents using the blender and the child recognizes all of them as their parents - same with step-siblings. For sims raised in households without blood relatives, I sometimes flag their caregivers as either parents or aunts/uncles and their cohorts siblings or cousins - nothing of a romantic nature happened between them and fury erupted when they caught a "relative's" partner cheating.

As far as I know though, they're considered family members upon marriage, except for the broken in-laws (which is why rufio had a fix) and those who had romantic relationships prior to the marriage. Step-family romance is barred unless you had something like BO's Step-Family Romance or a few other mods.

I use the partial version of the extended family mod since it allows second cousins/first cousins once removed (I don't even know anymore - they share the same great-grandparents) to marry, which I do for certain families. A few of my hoods don't have the in-law fix for the drama, but it's mostly in. I don't allow certain relationships though.
Mad Poster
#40 Old 30th Oct 2017 at 6:32 PM
What sort of family flag are in-laws supposed to have? Asking because I've got a sim who has all romantic options (and 2 bolts) with her sister's husband but he can "family kiss" her; I remember posting about it when it first happened and basically having everyone tell me it was normal but that I could set the as family with the blender...without explaining which option on the blender I was meant to use!
Inventor
#41 Old 30th Oct 2017 at 7:08 PM
I'd recommend the in-law fix (whichever one depending on your preference) so that you don't have to deal with manually flagging everyone, but when I didn't have it, I set children-in-laws (basically the child's spouse) as nephews/nieces to the parents and sibling-in-laws as cousins - enough that no other weird relationship flags will pop up if any of them procreate. Flagging a son-in-law as a "child" sometimes had the strange effect of actually considering him their child.

It's a bit of a hassle when the family is a bit on the large side and the mod makes it easier. It took a while to flag the Curiouses to the in-laws.
Mad Poster
#42 Old 31st Oct 2017 at 4:42 PM
So where might I find the different versions of this "in-law fix"? And will it retroactively fix existing in-laws, or do I still have to manually fix those myself?
Inventor
#43 Old 31st Oct 2017 at 5:00 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Rosawyn
So where might I find the different versions of this "in-law fix"? And will it retroactively fix existing in-laws, or do I still have to manually fix those myself?

Extended Family and In-Laws Fix work as soon as you drop them in so there's no need to do anything else, but note that Extended Family causes hood resets. Use only one of each type.

ExtendedFamily: Causes sims to recognize their first cousins once removed, second cousins, great-grandparents, great-grandchildren, great-uncles/aunts, and grand-nieces/nephews as family and removes romantic social interactions for those sims. They don't show up as family in the relationship panel, and still show chemistry, and "talk with relative," "relative gets married," etc. wants are not fulfilled with those sims, but other than that everything works. A second version of this is ExtendedFamilyPartial, which causes only great-grandparents, great-grandchildren, grand-nieces/nephews and great-aunts/uncles to be considered family. Install only one version. Installing this hack causes a reset. This hack contains new global BHAVs, and thus may conflict badly with other hacks that contain new global BHAVs. If in doubt, run HCDU. Incompatible with InTeen.

InlawsFixMaxis: Fixes in-law relationships so that they are reciprocal, as they should have been. Sims will treat their spouse's entire extended family as family (and vice versa) including aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. However, if you use hacks to enable polygamy, the family of multiple spouses will not be treated as in-laws. In that case, you should use InlawsFixNew, which also limits in-law relationships to just parents, children, and siblings, and off-related aunts and uncles. In-laws who were in love with each other before becoming in-laws will continue to be able to interact romantically, as normal. Install only one version.

Edit: I forgot - ihatemandatoryregister has a link in their signature: http://www.simfileshare.net/download/292377/
Mad Poster
#44 Old 31st Oct 2017 at 6:29 PM Last edited by Rosawyn : 31st Oct 2017 at 6:49 PM.
Thanks so much!

Only problem is, I'm still a bit confused about which version to use. I just want things to be reasonably logical and also consistent in my game. So I don't want sim A to see sim B as family, while sim B sees sim A as a potential romantic partner. That's just...kinda weird. I'm sure it can and does happen irl, but it's still just kinda weird to see in my game. If sim A sees sim B as family, might as well go both ways! Just simplifies things and won't lead to potential "being checked out by someone you see as a sister" situations.

But I know there are situations irl where a pair of sisters marry a pair of brothers. Some might argue that's weird. Maybe it kinda is. But I'm not sure I'd want that to be illegal in my game.

So I guess what I'm saying is I want Max who is married to Sherry to see Janet (Sherry's sister) as his sister-in-law and Janet to see Max as her brother-in-law...but if Max has a brother (let's call him Steve?), I don't think Janet should have to see Steve as her "brother" (but Sherry certainly should!). Does that make sense? Is there a way to make that (or something very similar) work in game?
Inventor
#45 Old 31st Oct 2017 at 6:45 PM
I searched for a fix as soon as I saw Consort Capp heartfarting over his grandson Hal's fiance - not cool and I didn't want that happening when they got married. That's why I just leave the fix out in hoods built for maximum drama (like all the beer kegs and scissors) but all of the others have them in the Essentials folder.

Oh, I get it your question. Neither version of In-Law fixes affects those types of relationships - only those who are related by marriage and blood; since Janet and Steve don't really follow the game's version of in-laws, they're exempt from the rule unless you flag them as family as well. Max will definitely consider Sherry's family members as family and so will Sherry for his.

Since that might not have been properly explained, I'll give you an example. In my Veronaville/partially BG-hood-only megahood, Angela Pleasant and Juliette Capulet were spouses; Angela was automatically barred from any romantic relationships with the Capulets and vice-versa for Juliette, and with the Extended Family mod in, that involved several members of the families. This, however, did not exclude Juliette's brother Tybalt and Angela's twin Lilith from being romantically involved with each other. I hope that makes sense.
Mad Poster
#46 Old 31st Oct 2017 at 7:15 PM
Oh, okay! I think I get it now. (I'm never much good at understanding things I try to read when I'm still groggy from just waking up. So thanks for clarifying!)
Field Researcher
#47 Old 1st Nov 2017 at 12:53 PM
I grew up with first and second cousins, 1st and 2nd cousins once removed and great aunts/uncles all as close family so I consider all those family in the game too. Also for great grandparents in game although I didn't have any irl. I did try a second cousin marriage once in game but after making a family tree for my hood I got too squicked out and couldn't go through with it.

After a baby was born I used to go to SimPE and put in all the relationships but that's very tedious so now at the baby's first birthday party I bring in everyone and set the relationships with sim blender.

In-law relationships/chemistry actually doesn't bother me though. If someone finds their spouse's sibling hot that seems like a normal reaction and doesn't necessarily need to be acted on, although it could set up some family drama.

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